Happy New Year, THRIVE readers! Let me present you the very first article of the year with a topic that touches the core part of what makes you a human being: the sense of belonging. When you walk into a room full of strangers, do you want to feel welcomed, understood, and free to be yourself? That is our need for a sense of belonging. To help you understand what it is, take two minutes to watch this short video about The Need for Belonging. It is a powerful reminder that wherever you are right now, it’s okay. You will eventually find the people or communities that will make you feel comfortable and confident enough to be yourself!
What is a sense of belonging?
Most humans have a need to belong and connect deeply with other people. We want to belong somewhere and have a common ground with other people. Studies have found that our brain and immune system are designed to keep our bodies biologically safe through seeking social safety, connection, and belonging. When you’re at College, do you feel close to or connected to your friends or teachers? Do you feel like you are a part of your community?
Your sense of belonging is measured by how much you feel personally accepted, valued and included by the people around you. According to the Australian Psychological Society, in 2017, half of Australian adults reported a lack of companionship at least some of the time, and one in four adults were classified as being lonely.
“True belonging doesn’t require that we change who we are. It requires that we be who we are.”
Dr. Brené Brown
How can we have a sense of belonging?
According to this literature review (Allen et al., 2021), there is a measure for sense of belonging and how we can fulfil the need for belonging. They concluded that belonging is a dynamic feeling and experience that is affected by four aspects.
1. Improve social and cultural skills
Most people have the ability to develop skills that can help them connect better with people, places, and things. These skills might include being aware of ourselves and others around us, meaning we should try to be open and not restrict ourselves to the group of people we are familiar with.
Language is an important tool for connection. Communicating in a common language, like English, can create opportunities to share experiences, meet new people, and learn from one another. It might be intimidating at first but people will always appreciate your effort to talk to them. You can find friends with different cultural backgrounds and discover their rich heritage. Do keep in mind that cultural sensitivity is important because respecting cultural differences will help you to communicate better with others. Certain words or phrases that you think is funny might be offensive in another culture due to local norms and values.
2. Create opportunities to belong
A great way to find opportunities for connection is through actively joining extracurricular groups that fit your hobbies. UNSW College has student clubs and societies, study club, and volunteering programs that you can join for free! Sharing similar characteristics and interests with a community of people might help you start conversations easily and build a strong sense of belonging.
3. Build the motivation to belong
Having a good source of motivation will help you reap the benefits of having places you feel you belong, such as:
Forming friendships during periods of transition, especially for an international student
Improving overall wellbeing, mental health and long-term academic success
Increasing social and community engagement
Experiencing positive and meaningful friendships
Creating more personal value and contribution
4. Establish a positive perception of belonging
There are times when we might experience rejection and question our belonging. It is important to understand that rejection does not mean that we are not enough, maybe we just have not found the right people or community that can appreciate us for who we are. If we reframe how we think, then a rejection can be leading us to find better friends and opportunities which we might not have encountered if we had settled down. It is completely normal to feel that we don’t belong from time to time but everyday is a new opportunity! One day you will find people and places who will make you feel like you matter and are exactly where you’re meant to be.
Belonging is not just about trying to fit in; it is about finding a community where you feel valued and accepted as a person. By taking new chances, building meaningful connections, and staying true to yourself, you can create a sense of belonging wherever you go.
Student Profile
Name: Henry Yau (Hoi Hang)
Role: Mentor peer leader
What does “belonging” mean to you personally?
It is a friendly environment where the team or place makes you feel welcome and comfortable, when nice people are around you. The feeling of inclusivity, and always being taken care of by those people. Also the moment when I think “”here is the place I love or I want to stay forever””. It is when you think you are part of this community and also seen as being part of them too.
Can you share a time when you felt a strong sense of belonging? What made it special?
Sometimes the feeling of belonging can happen even if it is the first time meeting the community, when they welcome you, take care of you and they are just like your friends even though you only just met them. This brings strong belonging and you feel that you are going to stay in that community and can’t wait to become part of them.
Also, belonging needs time to be built up or to be stabilised. You might not have much feelings at the beginning, but after a few times getting know or to be friends with the community, you’ll find that they match your ideal life.
These moments all happened when I was at College, and inclusive is the best word to describe what made those times feel a strong sense of belonging and feeling special.
Have you ever struggled to feel like you belong? How did you navigate that?
There are some moments that have made me struggle to think if I really belonged there. One example is when I feel the community has changed like when the people I know leave the community and some new people join, but not as friends yet or as good as the people who left. This sometimes happens and only time will tell if the belonging culture or atmosphere still remains.”
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If the provider is 'UNSW Global Pty Limited [01020K] (trading as: UNSW College)' your Diploma is under UNSW College Policy.
If the provider is 'The University of New South Wales (UNSW) [00098G] (trading as: UNSW Australia)' your Diploma is under UNSW Policy.
