Consent & healthy relationships

These two topics are extremely important, and I’d like you to know that this article is only a very small focus on consent and relationships. I will include links to other resources and support services that you can explore yourself and learn more.

Consent in a relationship

Consent is an individual’s free agreement to participate in an activity.​ It isn’t just something that happens in a relationship, it happens in day to day life. Have you ever watched the ‘Consent, it’s like tea’ video? If not, I highly recommend it. It is a great place to start in understanding consent.

Did you know?

In NSW, the legal age of consent is 16 – this may be different to your home country.

Remember, you can withdraw consent at anytime so just because you said ‘yes’ doesn’t mean you have to follow through with anything. It is completely okay to change your mind, maybe you’ve thought about it a bit more and decided you don’t want to kiss the other person or participate in other intimate activities. There are also situations where you can’t give consent such as if you are intoxicated, unconscious, or threatened into consenting.

You do not need to consent to anything you don’t want to, but it is also important to ensure you have received consent from your partner before you engage in any activities – including kissing. This page outlines what consent is, how to check for consent and also has a list of support services.

Healthy Relationships

It’s important to remember that all relationships are different and that they can be healthy or unhealthy no matter what our sexual orientation or gender is. Think of a healthy relationship as a ‘green flag’ and an unhealthy relationship as a ‘red flag’. Everyone has a right to feel respected and safe in all your relationships. A good way to ensure this is by treating each other as equals where both people:

• Are willing to compromise where appropriate,
• Experience equal give and take and,
• Respect each other’s ideas, boundaries and choices.

These aren’t the only things in a healthy relationship. It also includes a level of understanding, shared values and open communication for example. This video is very informative for how to work out what is a healthy versus unhealthy relationship.

It’s important that you also work towards maintaining a healthy relationship. Remember, no relationship is perfect but putting effort into a healthy relationship means you will feel happier overall. Ways that you can maintain a healthy relationship include:

• Being clear about what you want
• Apologising when you are wrong
• Being affectionate
• Showing appreciation
• Finding solutions that work for both of you

These links have some great information about healthy relationships:

• Health Direct
• Headspace Factsheet
• Family Planning